Two Months

Two months ago I said goodbye to my husband as he walked away from my car, taking my heart with him to Afghanistan.  Two months ago we sat down in a restaurant for our last lunch together in a long time, asking our waiter if he could pack the food to go because I was crying too hard to eat in public.  Two months ago, a year apart seemed endless.  It still does.  Each day that passes is another day closer to seeing each other once again.  I’ve been handling it very well and keeping myself incredibly busy.  However, today his absence hit me like a ton of bricks.  I can’t seem to stop crying at my desk.  Perhaps it was seeing my friend’s photos of her reunion with her husband returning from his deployment.  I want my reunion.  Alas, there are still many, many days that must pass before that day comes.  I know it’s just a mood that I’m going through and I have to say that I’m grateful I don’t feel this way every day.  It would make for a really long year.  Of course, I miss him terribly and that feeling is with me every second of every day.  This feeling has been manageable, though.  Some of my saving graces include:

  • Family– I am really lucky to be surrounded by family and friends.   Be it catching a drink with my brother, having dinner on the porch with my father, grabbing a bite with my grandmother, going to hot yoga with my stepmother or spending a weekend wine-tasting with the in-laws, it’s nice to be surrounded by people that provide support.
  • Friends– I’ve had a lot of fun taking the time to visit friends outside of the Capital District- be it weekends in Long Island with Nicole or yoga in Pennsylvania with Kristin.  My local friends are wonderful too, of course 😉
  • A Jam-Packed Schedule– This may just be the busiest summer of my life.  I definitely planned it that way, with the goal of having the time fly by.  And it is!  I had a huge work conference in June, the Boilermaker, the aforementioned travels, weddings, bridal showers and concerts upon concerts.  All provide nice distractions.
  • Yoga– I am so glad to have yoga in my life.  Its benefits are tremendous.  I leave each class feeling more calm and at peace.  I can literally feel my mind unwind and relax during the classes.   
  • Running Ah, running.  Running has become almost therapeutic for me.  I love coming up with training plans and accomplishing a workout.  The feelings of success after finishing a difficult race are pretty hard to beat.  As I pound away the miles on the pavement, my heart gets a little lighter with each step.
  • Google Chat– the time difference between here and Afghanistan is eight and a half hours.  So when Bri is going to bed, I’m finishing up my work day.  When I’m going to sleep, he is just waking up to start his day.  It’s weird.  Google chat has given us the ability to talk for a few minutes about our days and reconnect with one another.  I love it!
  • Skype– Bri and I usually chat once or twice a week on skype.  His work schedule is incredibly demanding and makes it difficult use it more than that.  When we do get to skype, it is such an incredible treat.  Just seeing his face makes me smile.  J
  • Bailey– Sometimes, a simple cuddle from your puppy is all you need to take your mind off of your troubles.  

So, that’s where I’m at with respect to deployment.  Writing this post has been cathartic, as I no longer have tears in my eyes.  I miss you, honey.  Stay safe.


Filed under Military Life

16 responses to “Two Months

  1. J

    I had to stop reading because I was tearing up here at work. You have a lot of courage to continue each day. You two will be together soon, even though it feels like a long time. Praying that he stays safe over there!

    I am going to send you an email now, cause I don’t want to leave it in the comments.

  2. Aww poor girly – I’m so sorry you had a rough day. I can’t imagine not seeing my hubby in person for a full year. You are such a strong woman and wife. He is a lucky, lucky man. I hope tomorrow is a better day. But it seems like you have really been handling it well. It’s amazing how fast a year can go by, even when it seems to be taking forever.

    As for my upstate schedule – it goes like this: nothing in August, end of Aug-Sept 10 Ireland, not sure about September, but then I will be up quite a bit in October. My friend is actually putting together a team for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure on Oct 2nd – would you be interested in joining it? I will definitely be running that one – will you be around?

  3. I was wondering how you were doing and I’m very glad you wrote about it here. To be honest when I read the title 2 months I thought…oh man it has been 2 months, time is not going fast enough! This is ironic because I ‘try’ not to rush time but sometimes you just gotta! My heart is always with you and I honestly am VERY excited for when you have your re-union too. Not only are you running miles each week, you’re probably growing miles too! You are doing GREAT and there is a lot of people out there who love you!!

  4. wiseeats

    I was sad to read this as a military wife myself, but your perspective is amazing. Keep up the yoga and running. 🙂 You will inspire others as they go through the same. You will make it! Keep strong. Glad to have found you in the blogosphere.

  5. Julie

    Oh Katie, I pray that your reunion comes soon! Your day will come and it is going to be wonderful…I promise:)

    It sounds like you have a great support system to help you cope. I totally agree with the running being therapeutic for us. It is my time to decompress and recharge. I also do alot of thinking during my runs.

    I love the picture of the two of you! You are such a great looking couple:)

    Hugs and love to you Katie!

  6. Sweet Katie! I was actually thinking about you and strength the other day. I was moping about not seeing my man for 29 days and I realized how much harder it’s going to be when he’s gone for longer. You are incredably strong. I just prey that the time flies by so quickly for you both and that you can be reunited with your honey so soon. Sometimes a good cry can make you feel better. If you need to google-chat I’m always here for you!

  7. That must be really hard! My brother was in Gitmo for 7 months and just got home — his wife got to see him once. I can’t even imagine what that would be like. Hopefully posting this was a nice release – keep doing it when you feel down – you have good support here!

  8. Pam

    My prayers will be with you and your husband. Hope tomorrow is a better day!

  9. Aww…hope tomorrow is better. I can only imagine how hard it must be to be apart for so long. Stay strong!

  10. I hope the year passes fast for you. One of my best friends is married to an Army guy and I know how hard the deployments are for her.

  11. I am really glad I found your blog today. I got the chills reading this post and I am so sorry for what you are going through. It’s a day by day process as anything in life is, but you will have your reunion.
    Best wishes,

  12. Oh Katie, I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but I’m glad you feel better after writing about it.

    I’m so appreciative and thankful for those who serve in our military, and for their families who are at home supporting them. My cousin served in Afganistan, and my Dad is a Vietnam Vet.

    I hope your husband comes home soon to you!

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  14. Nicki

    I somehow missed this yesterday. Please tell your husband thank you when you speak/chat with him again. I will keep you both in my prayers.

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