Two months ago I said goodbye to my husband as he walked away from my car, taking my heart with him to Afghanistan. Two months ago we sat down in a restaurant for our last lunch together in a long time, asking our waiter if he could pack the food to go because I was crying too hard to eat in public. Two months ago, a year apart seemed endless. It still does. Each day that passes is another day closer to seeing each other once again. I’ve been handling it very well and keeping myself incredibly busy. However, today his absence hit me like a ton of bricks. I can’t seem to stop crying at my desk. Perhaps it was seeing my friend’s photos of her reunion with her husband returning from his deployment. I want my reunion. Alas, there are still many, many days that must pass before that day comes. I know it’s just a mood that I’m going through and I have to say that I’m grateful I don’t feel this way every day. It would make for a really long year. Of course, I miss him terribly and that feeling is with me every second of every day. This feeling has been manageable, though. Some of my saving graces include:
- Family– I am really lucky to be surrounded by family and friends. Be it catching a drink with my brother, having dinner on the porch with my father, grabbing a bite with my grandmother, going to hot yoga with my stepmother or spending a weekend wine-tasting with the in-laws, it’s nice to be surrounded by people that provide support.
- Friends– I’ve had a lot of fun taking the time to visit friends outside of the Capital District- be it weekends in Long Island with Nicole or yoga in Pennsylvania with Kristin. My local friends are wonderful too, of course 😉
- A Jam-Packed Schedule– This may just be the busiest summer of my life. I definitely planned it that way, with the goal of having the time fly by. And it is! I had a huge work conference in June, the Boilermaker, the aforementioned travels, weddings, bridal showers and concerts upon concerts. All provide nice distractions.
- Yoga– I am so glad to have yoga in my life. Its benefits are tremendous. I leave each class feeling more calm and at peace. I can literally feel my mind unwind and relax during the classes.
- Running– Ah, running. Running has become almost therapeutic for me. I love coming up with training plans and accomplishing a workout. The feelings of success after finishing a difficult race are pretty hard to beat. As I pound away the miles on the pavement, my heart gets a little lighter with each step.
- Google Chat– the time difference between here and Afghanistan is eight and a half hours. So when Bri is going to bed, I’m finishing up my work day. When I’m going to sleep, he is just waking up to start his day. It’s weird. Google chat has given us the ability to talk for a few minutes about our days and reconnect with one another. I love it!
- Skype– Bri and I usually chat once or twice a week on skype. His work schedule is incredibly demanding and makes it difficult use it more than that. When we do get to skype, it is such an incredible treat. Just seeing his face makes me smile. J
- Bailey– Sometimes, a simple cuddle from your puppy is all you need to take your mind off of your troubles.
So, that’s where I’m at with respect to deployment. Writing this post has been cathartic, as I no longer have tears in my eyes. I miss you, honey. Stay safe.